after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.
as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.
i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.
SecretSlaveClass said, "Comgrats! (sic) Another sheep broke the pen, ran away and learned how awesome life was without a sheep dog bullying it! Essentially you've graduated to a gazelle
Nathan Natas, I took SecretSlaveClass to mean that I was free from the elders that pose as shepherds, but are in fact wolves in sheep's clothing who bully the flock. I appreciated his comment about my freedom very much.
Simon, I love the story about the little fairy penguins!
Diane
via reddit.
here are the morning program highlights.
will update for the afternoon once it's all over.
Great post Half banana! It's interesting to me that I was sensing a shift toward more control in the mid-2000's. It is why I finally knew I had to leave in 2011. I knew they were going to tighten the control around family members associating with DF'd ones beyond "essential family business", and I was just not going to shun my son.
Hopefully, the shift toward this seige mentality will wake up more and more individuals and families and free them from the extremism of this doomsday cult.
after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.
as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.
i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.
Xanthippie and Mr. Flipper, life on the outside is great! I had my first birthday cake this year at age 58! You are both so right about family. I chose mine over everything I had ever known since my pre-teen years. I simply refused to shun my children. I have seen the pain it caused my husband. His parents have shunned him for 35 years now. They have lost out on so much.
Lurkers, please choose life with your family now over the false promises of a future paradise! You will not regret it! I promise.
after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.
as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.
i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.
Snakes, thanks for asking. I’ve been thinking about updating this thread. Things have been busy lately. Our family met up in Washington, D.C. for Father’s Day weekend and then my daughter, her fiancee and our grandson came back to Connecticut with us for an extended visit. They live and work in Guatemala City and were having trouble getting the paperwork straight to get married down there, so we had a whirlwind wedding here. It was fantastic! They were already a family, but this made it official. Her husband is Irish-born retired special forces and is a really great guy.
I hesitated to give an update before now because I had only had contact with fringe witnesses—either the mostly-inactive-over-the-years type who might not know about an announcement or the do-your-own-thing sort of JW. The one sister that I still see socially knows I am “inactive” with no plans of going back. She believes I am committing spiritual suicide by associating with my disfellowshipped son, but that it’s my choice. She says she has plenty of friends that aren’t witnesses. She suffers extreme cognitive dissonance, but that’s a whole other topic.
After a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago, I can definitively say that they did not announce my name from the platform. I spoke at length with a born-in full-time pioneer. (Actually, she is the one that turned my son in to the elders which led to his being DF'd!) She pleaded with me to “come back to Jehovah.” She thought I had been “stumbled.” I told her my decision to leave was an ethical one and that I disagree with certain organizational policies and procedures, both locally and at the Branch. I told her I didn’t want to go into that and risk damaging her faith in some way. (I honestly don’t think it is my place to openly “un-witness” to a staunch, believing witness. Unless they have doubts and are searching for answers, it won’t likely do any good and will only serve to reinforce their belief. This is not to say that I don’t try to plant seeds of doubt when appropriate.) Of course, she gave me the line that “men are imperfect” and pleaded some more. I told her that I love and miss “the friends”, but I am happy with my decision and my life and changed the topic to catching up like old friends.
It was interesting to me that this pioneer had been to her R.C. and didn’t feel a need to shun me because I’m “inactive.” We have only celebrated Christmas in Guatemala so far, and I have blocked all known JWs from my Facebook page, so maybe I haven’t been outed as an unbelieving “apostate” yet. No need to break the uneasy detente that is in place. I say uneasy, because even though I’m glad that I severed ties with the organization, I still get a kick in the gut when I have any interaction with former “friends.”
Last weekend I ran into a couple that my son and I were close to. In fact, they gave my son and then DIL their engagement party in their home. The husband is a long-time faded JW. His Dad and step mother walked away first, and then he faded. This all had happened before I walked away. The wife was quite cool to me when we first started chatting, but she warmed up by the end of the conversation. I did a little Facebook stalking and found out that she plays drums in a band with her hubby who is the lead singer. They play at local bars, fairs and farmers’ markets. I hoped that maybe she was out too, but she is still Facebook friends with elders, ministerial servants and pioneers, so she’s probably still in, but living her life the way she chooses. This couple is in their mid-thirties.
So that’s my update. It will be interesting to see how the local elders react should we meet. That hasn’t happened yet. Fortunately, all but one or two don’t live in the local “territory.” They have been imported to “assist” the local congregations. Ours is a small New England rural town with no real jobs, high housing costs and high taxes—not the sort of place that draws the average JW. Everyone is related to everyone else, and there is a lot of nepotism and in-fighting in and between the two local congregations, so the C.O.s are always sending in new blood. They have installed a revolving door at the KH! Fun times I so don’t miss!
Diane, aka Sail Away
this is the article that woke me up.
i felt sick after reading it.
then sad.
Marked. Thanks!
have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?
i have; his name was dave matthews.
we loved him anyway.
Rebelfighter, I trained Emma using the methods outlined in the books The Loved Puppy and The Loved Dog. My Dad was a police officer with a canine partner. I admire the dicipline of police dogs, but wanted to use a gentler training method. Emma is the best behaved dog I have ever had, but she was not a rescue dog, and I trained her from a pup.
have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?
i have; his name was dave matthews.
we loved him anyway.
Rebelfighter, my Emma rings a little bell to go out and clangs a ship's bell to come in-- so much better than whining, barking or scratching!
TimeBandit, thanks sharing, and I'm glad your wife loves ya anyway!
hi everyone, it has been a while since i've last updated!
(refer to my previous posts for the full story) here is a quick re-cap: 2 months ago my mother found out that i am living with my boyfriend, she told me i was discovered by an "anonymous" tipper who turned me in for "living in sin".. first of all, that is nearly impossible, the congregation i was in is 100's of miles away from where i currently live.. no one would have ever known i was living with my boyfriend unless i told them, which i never did, i cut off all communication with that congregation in part of my attempted fade which was blown into pieces and discovered.. anyways, my mom tells me if i don't go to the elders and confess like a good little sheep, then she is obligated to tell them.. ( don't see why, i don't even live under her roof ) well i never went to them because why should i?
so they met with my mother and she told them i live with my boyfriend... let me remind you, this was two months ago.. i was told i was going to be df'd and that was that.
Raven, I'm so sorry you are being harassed and subjected to emotional blackmail. This is the letter my attorney mailed to the elder bodies of the two congregations I formerly attended locally. I modified a letter from this site to suit my situation. I didn't want to disassociate (play by their rules), nor did I want to deal with the repercussions of living in a small town as disfellowshipped.
They did not announce anything from the platform. Local dubs still make small talk when we cross paths. Of course, there is pre-emptive shunning going on, since I'm seen as "inactive" and "spiritually weak", so no one initiates contact with me. I expected that. At least I don't have to deal with public shunning. I just smile and ignore the pleas to "return to Jehovah".
Thankfully, I haven't run into any of the dozen or so elders I threatened to sue. When I was still in, the majority of elders were imported from other territories to "assist" the congregation, so they don't live nearby. Small town rural New England with no real employment opportunities and high property values doesn't attract the typical JW family.
Maybe if they don't announce your name your mother won't shun you. Only time will tell. Because your mom is taking this to the elders, it may be too late, especially after she attends to this year's R.C.
My attorney was so flabbergasted that this goes on that he sent the letters pro bono.
Wishing you happiness and freedom,
Diane
https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/436340001/matter-conscience-am-resigning-from-christian-congregation-jehovahs-witnesses
Edit to add: Sorry, I see that you just posted that your mom is already shunning you!
my son sent me a wonderful song a month ago on this thread.
https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5704271907520512/my-wonderful-son.
it's amazing how a bad experience can trigger action.
Fantastic news! It will be a beautiful day when your son comes home to live with you. Until then, savor these precious moments.
Congratulations to you and your daughter! I know you are so proud of her!
I raised my kids as JWs, but I always knew I would support whatever path they chose in life, including getting a college education. I still regret declining college scholarships and going to "pioneer where the need is great".
I hope you have a big celebration!
